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"You do?" she asked, sleepily."Yes," and I leaned in. I thought she'd turn to meet me, but she didn't. So I gave her a quick peck on her cheek. When she didn't respond, I started feeling very let down. I had a feeling that she was backing out, and no longer wanted anything. Disappointed, but not wanting to be too obvious about it, I stood up and said "Well, I guess I'll take a shower." She responded with a sleepy "uh huh."Disappointed? Hell, I was just short of furious! I went in the bathroom and took a quick shower, cursing myself and, if I'm going to be honest, Gwen the whole time. I finished, put my night clothes back on, and went back into the living room. Gwen was in the kitchen, struggling to open the door to let the dogs out. They were excited and jumping around, and she was having a hard time with it. I laughed and said "Here, let me get that for you." She stood back, I pushed the dogs out of the way and opened the door, letting them out.Once I closed the door, I turned back. That is not what I want," raising her voice, she continued, "I want to be respected for myself." Only men are respected for themselves in that horrible place," Jaida said her voice unmistakably shaking."That's no good to me! I am not a man! What other way is there?"Impatient to get the information she wanted, she was almost shouting now.Jaida replied, "You have to be like a man, and do as your grandmother did, but how or why she was allowed to succeed, that I cannot tell."Elinor realised what the servant was saying, she knew that if she was to gain respect in this new world she was to become a part of, she would have to take extreme measures, and these would include behaving exactly as her grandmother had done before her."Run a bath for me?" Elinor asked Jaida."As the Princess pleases," came the utterly subservient reply that shocked the young Elinor.Her mind was confused by the thoughts of the slave's defloration that were flashing through her head, 'How could one woman do this to.
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